did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
