Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
