Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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