Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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