i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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