yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
