i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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