and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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