When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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