If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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