it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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