just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
