party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
