All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
