is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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