I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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