think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
