You're my little dorito
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
