K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
