lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
