new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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