6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
