i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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