hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
