He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
