Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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