I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
