YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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