Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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