So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my being single is dangerous.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
