they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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