Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Drake has all the answers
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
