my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
