I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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