we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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