Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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