Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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