can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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