he was CRYING into my vagina
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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