She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
