CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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