this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
