I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
