We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize