OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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