problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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