I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
