M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
this will be a night to untag.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
