Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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