i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
