I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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