We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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