Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
