Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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