So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
