Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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