forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
