Hey man sorry I got all grabby
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
