it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
