Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
