That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
